Seven

In scripture, seven symbolizes completeness or perfection. 

Last Friday, Lindsay, my mom and I, while out doing last minute Christmas shopping, stopped by Once Upon a Child, a store that buys and sells gently used baby paraphernalia.  I used to frequent this franchise, in Staten Island, when my kids were young- not to buy stuff, but to sell whatever either Lindsay or Kim had outgrown.  This particular store is in Massapequa, about 15 minutes away from me.  Lindsay wanted to stop off to see if they had a high chair or portable baby seat that I could use in my house for Lexi; she also wanted some fleece pajamas. 

Once Upon a Child is one of those “hit or miss” places because you never know if you will find what you are looking for or if you will find something that you might be looking for eventually.  But that day was our lucky day because we found a perfect portable high chair with a tray that even had toys that attach for the bargain price of $18.00 and two pair of fleece pajamas, as well.    

Soon after our lucky purchase, we had Lindsay, Scott and Lexi over for dinner and we got a chance to use the new (well, really used) portable high chair.  We strapped it onto one of my six dining room chairs.  And because Kim was in from Brooklyn, we needed to get out one of our extra folding chairs.  This never happened before; we were always six at my dining room table with my mom.  I realized at that moment- we are now seven.  Lexi made us seven.  And it finally dawned on me that my family is growing, as I looked over at our newest member who was sitting directly across from me, alternately playing with the toys on her high chair and eating her Mum Mum cookie. 

Lexi Grace turned seven months old this past Saturday.  She is sitting up now mostly by herself and slides on her stomach, although she only goes backwards.  She easily rolls from her belly to her back and then grabs her toes and giggles.  Just recently, while doing tummy time, instead of just sliding, she began to arch her back almost rocking on her knees.  Any day she will be crawling.  Then the fun begins.  Lexi will begin to initiate her freedom and that is both delightful and terrifying at the same time.  Baby proofing will become my life’s obsession.

Baby proofing is when you look at everything in your house and imagine its potential danger to an inquisitive teeny tiny human being.  Of course, when I'm with Lexi and she is on the floor exploring, I’m right next to her all the time.  But then I think of the first time when Lindsay accidently slipped while pulling herself up on her own book case, banging her forehead, which immediately grew a huge blue egg shape lump right in the middle.  I had been sitting right next to her.  As I recall, I don’t remember who was screaming louder at the time- Lindsay or I.  

This is the stage when my little granddaughter will start to detach a little bit more each day from protective arms and explore the world with more than just those dazzling blue eyes of hers.  Her little fingers are grabbing for things, constantly now; just the other day she pulled my glasses right off my face and I can no longer wear my large hoop earrings without her easily taking those out of my pierced ears in a split second.  She is enjoying all her Hanukkah toys, which pretty much take up most of the house.  Very often, you hear the cacophony of all the different sounds coming from those toys as she discovers all their shapes, colors and textures.  

I know Scott is the more willing to let Lexi leap into this next stage; he has been encouraging her to stand on her two little feet for a while now and she has excellent balance already.  Lindsay, like most mothers, would probably prefer her to be attached and dependent as long as possible.  Lexi has not even slept in her crib yet during the night- she is still in a corner of her parent’s bedroom in her pack’n’play. 

I understand how Lindsay feels.  I know that feeling.  I have that same exact feeling every day of my life since 1982.  Once you become a mother, you have this natural instinct to protect your child every second of their lives. That never leaves us.  ‘Baby proofing’ never really ends; we are almost always considering conceivable threats to the most precious things we have on this earth.  Besides for that, every stage of a baby’s development is also about every stage of the parents' development.  The baby just does what comes naturally.  But the parents research, inquire, get advice and google everything about what that child is doing and how best to respond to it.  

I was talking to a close friend, a fellow grandmother, recently, about all the things Lexi is doing now and some of the challenges Lindsay and Scott face, just like every other parent.  She said the smartest thing I ever heard about parenting.  It’s something I knew inherently, but never verbalized. 

“The role of a parent is to give your child the tools to become independent.”

So true, but yet again that very thought delights me and terrifies me at the same time.  However, giving our children the tools to be able to do the most basic things to survive on their own is really our job.  Animals know this instinctively. They can let go.  Mothers let go, sort of, but hold on at the same time, sometimes metaphorically, other times, literally. 

Seven months ago, all we did was hold this amazing little baby girl in our arms.  As each month passes we let go a little bit more while we behold how she is growing into her own little person, resembling neither of her parents exactly, just a perfect mixture of both of them.  When you are a parent, you are so busy living it every day, you don't notice the changes as much.  As a grandparent, it is so much more vivid.  

We are nearing the end of 2013, a year that brought us completeness and perfection– Lexi Grace.  And as we begin the year of 2014, I look forward to this wonderful little being, who makes my heart swell with love, becoming more of who she is meant to be. 

Happy New Year.

Thanksgiving 2013: Feeling Full

It is the first day of December, the beginning of the last month of the year of 2013– a year full of joy for me.  Right now after a very busy Thanksgiving weekend, I sit in my kitchen reminiscing, my head full of memories of the last several days of a double holiday.  Yes, double holiday, because this year Hanukkah and Thanksgiving occurred at the same time, therefore, we actually had ‘Thanksgivakkuh”. Consequently my full belly not only contains the remnants of the traditional turkey, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie but also potato latkes, applesauce and donuts.   And this year, in addition to my houseful of traditional harvest decorations of cornucopia filled with gourds, surrounded by scarecrows and synthetic foliage, I also have my menorah, dreidels and Hanukkah gifts.  I’m so relieved this won’t occur for another 70,000 years. 

It is so quiet now that I can hear the sound of my refrigerator humming, almost whispering quietly, “I’m still stuffed.”  This is a sharp contrast to less than 24 hours ago where you could hear a house full of people talking, laughing, still eating and of course the joyful squealing of our Lexi Grace, who turned six months old this Thanksgiving day. 

Last year Thanksgiving was at Lindsay and Scott’s house.  It was the melancholy year of 2012, full of disappointment and sadness, except for the surprise they had in store for us, when they initiated a new “tradition” of everyone writing down, anonymously, what they were thankful for.  We put everyone’s entries in a cup and passed it around the table, picking one out and then guessing who wrote it.  My mother got the mysterious entry that said, ‘I am thankful for expanding our house by two feet.’  

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At that time last year, Lexi was with us, a mere promise of what truly to be thankful for.  She was living inside of her mother then, attached within.  The main difference is this year she is outside of her mother, while still very much attached to her and even more the center of her parent’s lives.  As we all know, once you become a parent- life, as you know it becomes completely different.  That phrase resonated in my head just two days before Thanksgiving, when we went to the mall on a wet and rainy Tuesday, with just 40 minutes to go to one clothing store that had everything on sale for 50% off.  We had luckily found a perfect parking spot maybe 30 feet away from the entrance to the mall, which was another 200 feet away from the store we were going to.  However when Lindsay went to retrieve the stroller from the car, she came back, shouting, “Sh----t!  Scott left the stroller in his car!” 

“Well, I’ll be happy to hold her,” I reassured. 

“I’ll just ‘wear her’,” Lindsay replied. 

She then proceeded to take out her Moby wrap- a contraption that looks like a very long piece of cloth that enables the mother to carry her baby, literally attaching her to her body.  Lindsay and Lexi together are about 83 inches long; it looked as if the Moby was about 283 inches long.  As a matter of fact, when she started to assemble it, I said, “I think that thing could stretch from here to Cincinnati.” 

So, while sitting in a very good parking spot, with rain falling like buckets outside, a youtube video played the directions for how to assemble the Moby wrap, while Lindsay followed.  It took five long minutes, until we were ready to  run out in between raindrops and enter the mall and then the store.  I never shopped so fast.  We both had armfuls of tops and pants.  Lindsay decided she would have to try some clothes on.  I looked at her incredulously, but before I had a chance to protest that we would never make it with the unwrapping of the Moby, trying on clothes, followed by rewrapping of the Moby, Lindsay felt something wet on Lexi’s bottom.  And here we were, in a crowded store running a big sales event in the middle of one of the largest malls in Long Island, carrying about 20 clothes between us and we realize that Lexi finally pooped after four days. 

“Where will you change her?” I asked.

“In the dressing room.”

I looked at where the dressing room was, and then I looked at the long line of people waiting outside for the dressing room.  

“I don’t think so,” I murmured quietly. 

We explained our predicament to a saleslady, who even though was very impressed with adorable Lexi, explained nicely that the only thing she could do was hold the clothes while we found a place outside the store to change a very full diaper and dirty clothes. 

It just so happened that every sitting area we could lay the baby down, was full of many people already sitting.  So, with no other option, Lindsay just popped a squat on a carpeted area nearby in as discreet a place she could find and changed Lexi as quickly as possible, diaper and clothing.  Never mind rewrapping the Moby.  I just grabbed the baby and held her while we ran back into the store to purchase the items.  Luckily, all the shoppers were still on line waiting for the dressing room and none were on line at the register.  The whole experience seems a lot less complicated when you’re not actually going through it. 

 

The days that followed were a whirlwind of events and activities.  On Wednesday, we picked up cousin Eileen and daughter, Becca, from Florida at the airport.  We met Lindsay and Lexi at Stop N Shop and then we came home to cook…too much food, way too much food.  My kitchen was full with everything that makes Thanksgiving my favorite holiday­– an overabundance of ingredients, belly laughs and fun because when you’re with my cousins Eileen and Becca, that’s pretty much what it’s all about. 

Thanksgiving was lovely, even though the table filled up my whole living room area.  There were 12 of us.  The main event though was Lexi’s first time eating solid food- sweet potatoes…with an audience. I took a six-minute video; as a matter of fact, three of us were videotaping at once, while the rest just watched Lexi eat.  Afterwards, Lindsay gave Kim and me a taste of it.  Kim said, “It’s not bad; what’s in it?”  “Sweet potatoes mashed with a little bit of breast milk,” was Lindsay’s response.  Lexi’s impression of the solid food was about equal to Kim and mine’s after Lindsay told us it contained breast milk; although, I think she was more opposed to the sweet potatoes while we were more opposed to the breast milk. 

Of course, afterwards, we lit the menorah and Lexi got her first Hannukkah gift from Gigi (my mom).  The next day, Friday, we went to my brother and sister in law, and we had more food, more potato latkes and more fun with more cousins. Then on Saturday, we had people over to finish the leftovers, which cousin Eileen made into a turkey potpie and quiches. 

It is quiet now, except for the dishwasher whirring, cleaning the last remaining dishes from the latest feast.  Even though it’s the first day of December the air is mild.  My neighbors are putting up their Christmas lights; the fire truck has come by for it’s annual Sunday After-Thanksgiving tour of throwing popcorn balls to all the children, young and old, on the block.  My belly is still full; my heart is fuller.  I think of how our Lexi Grace, six months old, full of smiles and giggles has brought so much grace into all our lives and I know this has been the most filling Thanksgiving ever.