Sunday, May 26, 2013

Here We Go With the Lobster Again….


Lindsay has a long history with lobster.  It all began just before she was turning three.  Mark and I were celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary and we decided to make a fancy lobster dinner at home to celebrate.  We had put Lindsay to bed earlier and as we began to “crack into” our meal; she tiptoed down the stairs and tilting her petite curly-topped head with the little ringlets that bounced like echoes, in her sing-song voice, said,  “What are you eating?”   We told her it was lobster and she asked if she could try some.  I think at first, she just wanted to be part of our party.  But the minute she tasted that lobster meat, it became her favorite of all time. 

She wasn’t even three and all of a sudden there was nothing on the kids’ meal menus at restaurants that appealed to her champagne taste.  She became a financial liability when we would go out to eat.  She always wanted lobster. This continued on through her childhood, adolescence and adulthood and even earned her a nickname from the caterer of her wedding.  Lindsay’s main request was that she and Scott have lobster for dinner during the wedding, cracked for them of course.  Hence, they were named- The Lobster Couple.  There are two entries I wrote in my first blog, Mother of the Bride: A Wedding Journey about the lobster couple.* 

So, here we are, at 38 weeks into this pregnancy.  I say “we” because at this point I feel as if I’m pregnant too.  Everything I plan now is based upon the upcoming arrival of my new love.  And while on this journey I also feel like I’m getting a fresh education on pregnancy.  I am learning things I never knew before.  There’s the medical lexicon- like “effacement”.  Effacement is when the cervix thins out and stretches to prepare for the baby to exit the birth canal.  Lindsay is now 80% effaced.  Then there’s the “stations” which describes how far the baby has dropped into the pelvis.  Lindsay’s baby is presently at a “0” station, which means that she’s at the middle of the pelvis.  When the baby is ready to emerge, she will be at +3 station.  It’s like riding the subway.  Right now we’re stuck at Union Square on our way to Whitehall Street.  I speak metaphorically to give some meaning to all this jargon.  I had two children of my own, but that was in a different century when there was no Internet to look things up and all the doctor told you was, “Nope, you’re not ready, see you next week.”

In additional to the medical terminology, there are also the “fad” pregnancy expressions and events for this new generation of mothers- for example- gender reveal parties (see blog entry-The Big Reveal- 1/6/13).  And babymoon- when the expectant couple takes their last trip before the baby arrives (see blog entry- Babymoons and Winter Blues- 2/3/13).  And the push present, which is a gift the father gives to the mother to mark the occasion of the birth of their child.  You want to know what I got for my push present? …The baby.  And hemorrhoids. 

There are also Lindsay’s pregnancy expressions, like my girls-, which refers to her Bouncing Babies group on Facebook.  These are girls from around the country who are either pregnant or just gave birth.  They share their stories, information and advice in a closed forum, which seems to be my daughter’s newfound religion.  Apparently they are her go-to people.  As a matter of fact when she spoke last night about when she goes into labor, she said she would be on her iPhone the whole time, communicating with “my girls”.   (I guess she won’t need me.  What do I know anyway?  I only just gave birth to her and her sister…This is what my alter ego Jewish-guilt mother says). 

The latest information Lindsay has been researching is how to get this baby out of her.  This past Friday night while I was at her house helping her organize to make more room for the baby, she showed me a list of things that help induce labor: for example,
1.    a pedicure,
2.    a cervical sweep,
3.    spicy food,
4.    castor oil,
5.    walking,
6.    lobster
7.    sex (I put that last because that is the last thing any 9-month pregnant woman wants.  However, it’s the first and only thing her obg-gyn suggested.)

She had the pedicure this week- no luck.  Castor oil is out of the question- yuck.  I reluctantly asked her what the cervical sweep was because I kept on having visions of Bert, the chimneysweeper, from Mary Poppins.  At that point Scott came out holding up a Swiffer duster that he was using to clean the house and chuckled “They use something like this.”  Not a pretty picture.  So, the cervical sweep and castor oil go in the “No” column.  We had plenty left in the “Yes” column.

Yesterday, we had a plan.  We were going to tackle #s 3,5 and 6.  So I picked up lobster, coincidently on sale for $7.99/lb at Best Yet, for dinner that night, explaining my scheme to the fishmonger and cashier– they wished me luck.  Then Lindsay, my mom and I went to Chipotle for a spicy Mexican lunch, followed by Tums for our indigestion.  We did a lot of walking around Babies R Us, then a little bit more at the mall.   We returned home to steam our lobster, of which Lindsay had two along with champagne, which apparently also is supposed to help.  A full moon was in the forecast- another good sign for giving birth.  We believed we had the right formula.  After all, wouldn’t it make sense for Lindsay, our ardent lobster lover, not to mention, ‘The Lobster Couple’ to have their first child after having a lobster dinner?  Wouldn’t it?

Apparently, Mother Nature, who also decided to bring back winter during Memorial Day weekend with wind and rain and temperatures in the low 50s, along with my granddaughter had a good laugh at our stratagem.  

And you know what my mother said, the wise 89 year-old Sylvia Waltzer-Berman, who gave birth to four children?  'You know when she’ll be born.  I’ll tell you.  When she’s good and ready.  That’s when.'

Well at least we got to eat lobster…  On to week 39 and the wait continues….


*Here are links to the other blogs mentioned. 



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